


"Always"

by ForeverAndAlways



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4807211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverAndAlways/pseuds/ForeverAndAlways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To them it was just a normal day. That is, until the car came and shattered everything about their life into shards of glass that cut them.<br/>(Trigger warnings: graphic depictions of violence and major character death)</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Always"

He looked at Dan and laughed as he swung their hands up high in the space between them. They had decided to walk to Starbucks this morning, for no particular reason except boredom. He was glad they had done this instead of having coffee at home. It was brisk and cloudy outside, and he could only partially feel the sun the back of his neck. You would think it was winter, instead of the height of summer. He briefly damned the unreliable English weather, then moved closer to the other boy.

He could easily smell the world around him as he took a deep breath. They walked so close that their sides rubbed up against the others occasionally. it was a beautiful day despite the clouds and the cool breeze which was scented like the first day of spring, full of life.

He looked into Dan’s eyes and memorized the patterns that the tiny gold flecks made over the deep chocolate brown color. He couldn’t help but smile at how bright Dan made the world just by being there. To his shock, Dan’s lovely features became contorted with terror, and he gasped in surprise as he looked from Phil’s face to the street.

There was a small child in the middle of the road and a car fast approaching Phil’seyes widened.Instinctively, he tore his hand from Dan’s and ran as fast as he could to push the child out of the way. No matter how fast he ran he couldn’t seem to catch up. His legs seemed to be behind his body as he sprinted. Why hadn't the car stopped? Could it’s driver not see the child just standing there? The child stood bemused, completely unaware of their fate,that was most likely sealed.

He got within earshot of the child and started screaming at them to run. the child turned, saw the car and froze in terror. he ran forward and dove, pushing the child away just in time.Not for him. he choked out a strangled scream as he felt his ribcage being crushed, and his internal organs rupturing. He could feel everything at once, and nothing at all, yet he was hyper aware of the pain he was in.

His head was throbbing, his stomach bleeding; his toes were numb. He sobbed, and cried out for Dan. A crowd had gathered around him. He craned his head as far around as he could to see that the small child had made it to safety. He saved a child’s life. There was a small moment of elation before he felt his organs compressing, and his lungs struggle to process incoming oxygen as they filled with blood.

Everything hurt, but was numb at the same time. It felt like he wasn't in his own body, even though he knew he was. The car had run over him at his lower legs and chest. He was positive that his rib cage had been crushed, andwas aware of the odd angles of all his newly rearranged bones.

“Phil! Phil!” he faintly heard Dan whispering—or was he screaming? He could barely see. Everything was black and so blurry. Somehow he managed the strength to nod, so he could indicate he was listening. He gulped in air in a desperate attempt to stay conscious, while Dantold him what he had to say.

“Phil, hang on okay? Someone called an ambulance and it should be here soon. Just please don’t quit on me, because i really can’t live without you and please please just hold on. if not for you then for me?” he was rambling. Phil faintly heard him start to sob Dan’s voice sounded so distant.

“I love you so fucking much Phil Lester, don't you dare die on me. You can’t do this. We said forever and i meant it, god damn it. Stay alive you bastard. i fucking love you. p-please?” Phil heard the sirens slowly approaching from a distance, and he felt so warm—too warm. He felt his heart skipping beats, and he knew he was going to pass out soon.

“We’ve had some good time you and me, yeah? Remember when you had to talk me out of doing something stupid like walking in front of a car and now-” He sniffled “-and now you’ve gone and gotten yourself hurt and it should have been me.”

“But you were always braver than me weren’t you? You were always the one to chase the bugs out of the house whenever I was too scared. You always confronted your problems head on; whereas i avoided mine altogether. Then again, that’s why we’re friend,s right? Because opposites attract…” He trailed off, before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“Just, if you don’t make it, please promise youll love me. i know I’ll love you forever. there’s no way I could ever move on from—from you. I love you more than you could possibly imagine. hold on, for me. “ Dan wasn't holding back his sobs now.

The crowd around him had thickened. Phil laid there with his eyes open, yet he felt so blind. Maybe this was what it was like to not be able to see. To be scared, to not know what's going on or if there was any immediate danger. His vision was so clouded; he felt void.

If he could move anymore, he would be curled into a ball right now. This was so terribly painful. He was slowly drowning in his own blood, he could tell that something had happened to his spine and almost all of his ribs were broken. He doubted he would make it long enough to be saved. He would just have to put on his brave face for Dan.

Who knew what the afterlife would be like? He pondered if he would be in heaven or hell, or even if he could make it to purgatory. Maybe there was just a void that he would be trapped in. Maybe it would just be like sleeping for an eternity. He breathed in shakily. Whatever happened, he couldn’t just leave without saying anything.

“Always” he choked out with his last breath. He would always hold on for dan. No matter what life or death threw at him, he was Phil’s everything. He could never let Dan down. Dan might doubt his love at the moment, but right now he just remembered what Dan’s eyes looked like, holding on to the image as he slowly drifted out of consciousness.

The last thing he remembered feeling was being lifted from the cool tarmac onto a soft stretcher. Everything stopped then. His heart, his lungs. It felt like his brain stem had cracked in two. All for nothing. He guessed this was death. He was aware that he was dead, in a way.

You never realize that you can feel your heart beating as it processes your ever-flowing blood until you can’t feel it anymore. There are so many things that you feel and experience; but you don’t realize it, because you're too busy being conscious of how someone’s breath feels on your neck, or the warmth in your chest when someone says that they love you.

He used to be able to feel his lungs expanding with air. All the things he knew made him alive were suddenly torn from him. He had felt it when one of his ribs had torn into his heart. maybe if he hadn't moved his head to see that childhewould be alive right now; although it was worth it to be able to know that they were okay.

He had never gotten a good enough look at the child to be able to see what gender they looked like. They had been wearing something green. He couldn’t remember if their hair was long or short.

It was like his mind was trying to compensate for clouding over by showing him all his memories. He got to see when he first met Dan, and when he and Dan moved in together. He even had memories that hadn’t been made yet; like the proposal he had been planning. He saw his future with Dan, too. They would have been married and adopted two little girls. They probably would have moved into a house with a koi pond, gotten a dog and been like every stereotypical family off of any sitcom you would watch.

if he was alive.

He felt so empty. All his bodily fluids weren't moving. His blood was just sitting stagnant and he couldn't think, yet he was thinking at the same time. if this was death, then death was even worse than everyone makes it out to be.

He was trying to breathe, but he couldn't; his lungs were filled with his own blood and he knew it.He was helpless, unable to move, breathe, love, or feel. Stuck in an eternal void. He felt the sensation of falling and flying at the same time. It really was a tragedy that he had to leave this way.

He just hoped that Dan would be okay without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I'm glad that you've chosen to read my fic. If you liked it please leave comments or kudos! I'm so sorry please don't kill me!! Have a lovely day and thank you for reading!!  
> Love, Xan.


End file.
